Fake Smiles.

So I’m on the way to Gettysburg and we were talking about our futures and our plans for college and all that stuff. To be honest, I have no idea what I’m doing, what my plan is, or what I’m going to do with my future. Maybe I want to do business, maybe I’d like to pursue a career in dance, or maybe physical training. Who knows. I have absolutely no idea. All I know is that I have a passion for dance and I love it. I love to teach little kids and see them improve, but I also know that it is very difficult to make a career out of that. And the idea of careers or my future scares me because I don’t want to think about it. People always tell us to “not live in the future or in the past, but what is happening right now.” But how can you do that when every person is asking what your goals are, where you are applying, what you are going to do with your life, what classes you are taking, etc. How can you live in the present when all you do is so focused on the future? I know I’ve written about that before, but seriously. The world makes it next to impossible to just live. And as I look around at all the people around me, most aren’t living. Some are trapped by their own insecurities, others are lost in worldly attractions, and some just don’t care. They don’t care if they are ruining their lives with drinking or drugs. They don’t care if they aren’t making any changes in the world, but just want the “pleasure” in their lives that they think will come by their actions. But then, they find themselves more lost and insecure than before. Others act happy, but feel lonely. They feel that the friends around them don’t really care. They feel inadequate and uncared for but would never tell anyone. Everyone is searching for something. What are you searching for? For happiness? To be accepted and loved? To forget the past? I think everything is a big jumbled mess of confusion. The world is one big jumbled mess of confusion. What are we supposed to do? We’re teenagers growing up in an all too fast paced life and searching for things that are out of our grasp. Then we block out the pain and life with music, fake friends, and fake smiles. No one can always be happy.